I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
