so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
