Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
