At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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