Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
