I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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