Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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