Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
