Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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