i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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