i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I could make wine with my vomit
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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