k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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