how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
