Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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