Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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