Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
