we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
