So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I can text with my tongue
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
