I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
