I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize