I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
