Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
