is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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