Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize