We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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