he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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