i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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