It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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