That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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