Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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