I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
