Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
