Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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