I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
