oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
