you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
