she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
