We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
