I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
