I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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