we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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