apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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