Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
