Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
