And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
