And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
