I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
