did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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