Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
