Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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