He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I believe in your delicious
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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