how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
