she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i will never coherently bang her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
