strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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