so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've blown a few things in my day
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
