Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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