guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
