This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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