Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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