So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
