he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
