trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
