Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my being single is dangerous.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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