He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
