I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
