He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
