lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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