Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
